Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
