Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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