every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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