question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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