Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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