I heard we made out
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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