beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
