some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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