I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
