My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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