i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
