Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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