My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
