All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize