omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize