ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
