I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
