sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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