I need help removing her.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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