I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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