I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Green mimosas i think yes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
