so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
