I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize