It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
