I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
