his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
