btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize