I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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