For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
