wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
