I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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