he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
