Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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