he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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