i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
