Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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