You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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