She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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