i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is Oprah even human
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