I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
