I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
