I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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