would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
