She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just gargled with NyQuil
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
