for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
