Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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