Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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