did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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