Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
