So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
