Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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