i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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