He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think your dad took our porno
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
