Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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